Full disclosure: I want to make sure that I talk about every side of what I am going through here. In the past, i’ve fallen into the trap of hiding vulnerability from the world. That isn’t the purpose of why I started this blog so before I begin packing for this next business trip, I made it a point to sit down and share another very real side of this entrepreneurship road: exhaustion.
I am beginning to feel the burn of this entrepreneurship grind more and more.
The more work I have to do, the more I admire every story of budding companies run in basements, mom-entrepreneurs with multiple children and a thriving home-based business, and CEOs who did it all and then watched their enterprises flourish and gain dozens and hundreds of employees. (Sigh… One day soon.)
Losing Balance: I am in a space right now where I am definitely still excited by everything I am learning and doing, but I am finding myself slipping away from remaining mindful of health and overall balance. It gets tough! Most of my meetings are at restaurants, bars, etc. so eating organically and balanced is a challenge, to say the least. Late nights and little sleep (I like to get at least 6-7 hours but it hasn’t been happening this week) make it extra difficult to make time for a quick early morning run. And ignoring my phone sometimes has become more of a challenge when more questions, requests, demands, and time-sensitive items are in my inbox than ever.
I have already begun to turn down projects- I didn’t see that coming. I would like to continue to offer consulting services (on a case by case basis,) but I have definitely managed to fill my plate quickly. My thinking is that I should not take on any new long-term projects this quarter or next. (Ugh I’m not even ready to say that out loud…) A part of me wants TONS more clients so that I can grow my business and start to generate enough money to eventually hire a staff member or two (or fifty!) but another part of me (which is the part I am trying to listen to) wants to focus on the tasks at hand, give them my all, learn a lot and not worry about juggling too many things in the air… and potentially screwing them up. I know the latter makes MUCH more sense (I think) but I can’t help but wish I had more time, and more me’s to do everything that comes my way! I need help. I can’t afford to hire anyone so my answer was interns but even acquiring them takes up so much time; writing descriptions, sending off, sifting thru resumes, interviews, etc. I wish I had an intern that could find me some interns! Hmm that may actually be possible…
Tough Week: This week has been particularly tough. I was in Philly all week (which was awesome- I miss it) and I had about 4 to 5 meetings a day from early morning to late at night. In the rare moments when I had an hour or two in between meetings, I was putting together logistics for a show my new client is doing in Palm Springs tomorrow while trying to say hi to a few friends in my old city. This morning, I caught a 6:30am bus back to NY and now I am packing for a 4pm flight to Cali. Don’t get me wrong, it is all still very exciting but I definitely have bags under my eyes, keep forgetting to pay a couple of bills, my pants are feeling a little extra tight and I have a roll of paper towels in the bathroom because I don’t have time to get to the store to buy TP. Sheesh… this week has been exhausting.
Always an Up Side: Despite an immensely demanding schedule, some great stuff also happened this week; My partner, for the Hispanic Choice Awards, and I closed 3 new partnerships, I successfully executed my first pitch (for this specific project) alone with a big account and it went really well, I may have a new intern (that reached out to me- not because I sent out anything yet lol), I connected with a good friend on an amazing new project (I’d only be a consultant- promise!) and a mentor/good friend of mine who recently had a massive heart attack and is in the hospital, is awake, responsive and beginning to recover.
Life is good. God is great. I’m not complaining… just sharing.
Greener Grass: I had a moment back in Philly when, for the first time, I yearned for the simplicity of the schedule and regimen I had there. I saw my old running routes, my favorite brunch spot, the gym, the walk to the office; and while I don’t think I want any of that instead of this, for a brief moment, amidst lack of sleep and a very full cup, it looked a lot greener.
I am still in it, I am still excited, I am just having a really demanding week. That’s all.